Watch Me Figure Skate to the Spider-Man Theme Song

101: Here Comes the Spider-Man

A series about foundations - both in comics, and my engagement with the medium.

I always loved to read. During a visit over the holiday season, my mom reminded me of this by handing me my copy of Barney Beagle and the Cat. It was absolutely ratty, and went with me everywhere. According to my parents, I had the thing memorized shortly after I could talk. My own vague memories tell me that I definitely wasn’t reading it, so much as I was using the picture as cues for what was on the page. As I grew up, the words started to take form and meaning along with the pictures.

The next major reading obsession I remember having was Casper the Friendly Ghost digests. I was enamoured by the idea of this character who appeared to be a kid pushing against things he knew weren’t kind. Just because he was a ghost, didn’t mean he had to be a bad person. He’d often team up with Wendy the Good Little Witch who had her own similar struggles, and the pair would set about bringing kindness to The Enchanted Forest. Any trip to London Drugs found me snooping around the newsstand, looking to see if a new edition was there. Being a penniless bum at the age of seven, I’d attempt to talk my mom into nabbing me the copy in return for chores, or to hold onto it for a birthday. I read the hell out of those digests, and started to discover other weirdos like Hot Stuff, Baby Heuy, and Richie Rich. When Casper and Richie ended up getting movies, I was ecstatic, and watched those tapes until they died. 

Eventually, the obsession ebbed, I think in part because the comics did as well. I moved along to Disney Adventures magazine where there was an absolute treasure trove of my interests at play. There were weird sandwich contests, regular strange facts about the world, fun real life “adventures” and most importantly, comics. My goodness, that comics section. It was my everything. Over the course of one summer, the Legend of the Chaos God storyline took over my brain - a crossover between Tail Spin, Chip n’ Dale Rescue Rangers, Goof Troop, Duck Tales, and Darkwing Duck, it rolled out over the course of months, and I was enraptured.¹

Both of these ages featured me carrying a lot of digests and magazines with me. This was a thing that continued the deeper I got into comics. Whatever extra space I’d have in my backpack would be filled with comics. If people were bored at school, or in marching band, I would offer them something to read, usually trying to match their taste.

I think I was meant to connect with comics. While Barney Beagle and the Cat wouldn’t be considered a comic, I’d say it prepped me for my life to come - a core of my early learning being pictures turning into words, the connection between the two helping me learn. It blossomed through eras, and eventually gets us to today, where I’m still sharing comics with people as a part of my “language”.

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I wasn’t going to write about my childhood this week, but a little while back, I promised the world that I would show them a video of me doing figure skating routine to the Spider-Man cartoon theme song if they did a thing. They did the thing. It seemed appropriate to talk about young Brandon when folks were watching a comics related thing with young Brandon in it.

Obviously, I’ve attached that video to this post. I can still tell you a few things about how this came to be. From the age of 5-13, I took figure skating lessons. I ended up getting pretty far in the system, and had taken a summer class in a small town called Trochu, which involved more one-on-one coaching. The bulk of this routine came from there, in between some free-skating practice where I tried my hardest to crack open the double salchow.²

There are a small handful of things I remember vividly from this time. First? I managed to accomplish the double salchow on occasion, and that felt enormous. Second - the process that begat the Spider-Man routine, just a kid going back and forth with a coach, trying to make sure the moves fit the character.

If you watch the video, there’s a part where the music skips. That’s because my couch had put together the tape, and had found the song wasn’t long enough for the time required. She had asked me if I wanted to continue and loop part of the Spider-Man theme, or if I wanted to transition it into the Superman theme song. At the time, my cousins were big into Marvel Comics, and wouldn’t hear of someone who liked DC, so I opted against it in the hopes they would let me read some of their comics (they did not).

The other thing I remember the most is my Granny driving me to and from this summer camp every day, for the two weeks it happened. Each day, she made me a sandwich and a quick “french onion soup mix” for the lunch break that would happen. She’d hang out the entire day, knitting in the stands, keeping an eye on her grandson. I absolutely miss her so much, and I posted this video, in part, because of her. She helped make this happen, and by god, I am absolutely proud of it. 

Right there, was a kid, confident in his abilities. He did the routine, and he absolutely nailed it. (There are other times, in practice, and in showcase, where I completely biff it on a more complex move, though I have yet to find any tape of that.) None of that would have happened without her. A lot of who I am today, wouldn’t have happened without her. I realize, I’m definitely still mourning this important person in my life. I probably always will, though if life has taught me anything, time lessens the blow.

Anyway. Sorry to end a fun post with me figure skating to some Spider-Man stuff with such a downer. I’m honestly just trying to wander where the words take me these days, because I find it to be good therapy. I hope you’re enjoying all of this, despite it all.

Thanks for reading. Talk with you soon,

-B.

1. Though being “book smart”, I thought the story was about a “chay-ohs” god.

2. Which, until this day, I would have told you was spelled “sowcow”, because I’m from rural Alberta. That pairs nicely with the whole “chay-ohs” thing.